So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize