The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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