I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
