I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
