the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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