Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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