Kiss
Puke
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
cat food counts as protein by the way
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Randomize
