32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You don't make any sense
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