that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
