He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
