Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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