you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
