I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
