My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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