hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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