Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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