I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
