oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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