At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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