Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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