I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
