It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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