i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
