Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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