im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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