Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
