I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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