I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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