my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i think i have two assholes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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