and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We left an ass print on the piano.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
