I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
