I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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