My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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