IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
