how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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