they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
