We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
