Plan B is the new Plan A
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
