If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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