We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
