fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
