I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
