Porn is love you can see.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
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My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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