Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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