A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
