I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
