I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
