My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
