***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You need a sexual gate keeper
Randomize
