I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
