I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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