Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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