so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
