How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
